Everyone has probably felt alone at some point. But what can you do if the loneliness doesn’t go away? Here’s how you can tackle it.
If you look up the word “loneliness” in the dictionary, you’ll likely find related terms such as emptiness, despair, forlornness, and longing. No one wants to hear these words or experience them.
Loneliness as a Health Risk
Scientists now refer to loneliness as “the new obesity.” This means that lonely people, like those who are severely overweight, suffer not only from social isolation but can also develop serious illnesses. These include high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep disorders, depressive episodes, and rapid cognitive decline with age.
Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a scientist at Brigham Young University in Utah, USA, and her team have studied loneliness more closely by examining data from around 300,000 people across 148 studies. The result: The chances of a longer life increase by 50% if you maintain social contacts. “The effect is comparable to that of obesity,” summarized the study leader.
Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely
Loneliness is a feeling familiar to most people. After all, everyone has felt alone at some point. Interestingly, the feeling of loneliness is independent of social situations. This means that you can feel lonely in a group of friends but feel a sense of security alone in your own apartment.
The difference between someone who is temporarily lonely and someone who is chronically lonely is this: A temporarily lonely person does something about it, such as arranging to meet friends (even if after a few days of self-pity).
Psychologists call this a “reaffiliation move,” which means the motivation to reintegrate socially after a period of loneliness. A chronically lonely person, however, has lost this motivation or has failed at reintegrating multiple times. This leads to a withdrawal from social interactions.
Recognizing Loneliness
The goal should not be to completely and permanently banish loneliness from your life. After all, we all have the right to feel alone sometimes. However, you should closely monitor your phases of loneliness:
How often do they occur? How long do they last? How easily can you free yourself from them? You should ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. If you notice that you are feeling increasingly lonely, it can help to write down your feelings and the times they occur. This alone can help you learn a lot about yourself and your loneliness.
Of course, you should also talk to friends and other trusted people about your feelings of loneliness. They can also give you feedback on whether you are slowly but surely isolating yourself.
Tips to Combat Loneliness
The standard tips should not be missing here. Going to the gym, going out with friends, going to the movies, or having a coffee can help combat loneliness. Why is that?
Being together with others makes it easier for many to shed loneliness.
But you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself when meeting other people: Be honest and tell your friends how you really feel and that you need company right now. This openness relieves you of the pressure to fake being cheerful and helps you enjoy and appreciate the company of others more.
But not only other people can lift you out of loneliness. You can also influence your emotional state. As noted earlier, you can feel good even when you’re alone.
In this case, it might help to have a self-care day: Show your body love and attention and treat yourself to something small that makes you happy. Self-care can work wonders when you feel lonely.
If that’s not enough, you can also be active. This can be done at home. Put on your favorite music, sing along, and dance to it. Try a new workout or dive into a new app. It’s important to always treat yourself like your own best friend and show yourself small acts of love repeatedly. This way, you can keep shaking off loneliness.
