When Eric offered to pay for our first date, I truly thought I had just met a real gentleman. He brought roses, gave me a sweet little gift, and was charming the whole evening. He was ticking every single box.
So, the next day, when I got a text from him, I expected something cute—maybe a “Had a great time!” or “Can’t wait to see you again!” But instead, my stomach dropped.
Let me start at the beginning.
My best friend, Mia, was the one who set us up. She meant well, but she’d never played matchmaker before.
“He’s super nice, Kelly! Total gentleman. You’ll love him,” Mia gushed over the phone as I stood in front of my closet, trying to find something cute but casual.
“You’ve never set me up before,” I reminded her, pulling out a blouse. “What makes you think you know my type?”
“Because I know you, duh. Better than anyone,” she replied confidently. “And Chris vouches for him. They’re longtime friends.”
Now that caught my attention. Chris, Mia’s boyfriend, was a solid guy. If he said someone was decent, I believed him.
“Okay,” I sighed. “But at least show me a picture before I agree to anything.”
Seconds later, my phone dinged.
I opened the photo. Eric looked clean-cut, well-dressed, and had a warm smile that actually reached his eyes.
“Okay… he’s cute,” I admitted.
“Told you!” Mia squealed. “Text him! Set it up! You won’t regret it—I promise!”
We exchanged a few casual messages, and I agreed to meet him at this new Italian place by the river. Not too fancy, but definitely a date-night spot.
I got there five minutes early and waited outside, checking my makeup in my phone’s front camera. That’s when I saw him walking toward the restaurant.
He looked just like the picture—but better. Confident. Polished. And holding… a bouquet of roses?
And these weren’t sad, grocery-store roses. This was a professionally wrapped bouquet, tied with ribbon.
“You must be Kelly,” he said with that same warm smile. “These are for you.”
“Wow… thank you,” I said, taken aback in the best way. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I figured I’d start the night off right,” he said, handing them over like a total pro.
But he wasn’t done.
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small gift box with a neat cyan bow.
“What’s this?” I asked, eyebrows shooting up.
“Just a little something. Go ahead, open it,” he said, looking excited.
Inside was a shiny silver keychain with the letter “K” engraved on it.
“I asked Mia what you might like,” he added smoothly.
I blinked. Flowers and a personalized gift on a first date? Either this man was genuinely thoughtful… or dangerously good at making first impressions.
“This is really sweet of you,” I said, honestly touched. “Thank you.”
The gentleman routine didn’t stop. He opened doors, pulled out my chair, and locked eyes when we talked—not in a creepy way, but like he was actually listening.
He asked about my job as a graphic designer and remembered little details I’d mentioned in passing during our texts. He made me feel like I was the most interesting person in the world.
“So what made you say yes to the setup?” he asked after we ordered.
“Mia can be very persuasive,” I laughed. “Plus, she and Chris both vouched for you, and that doesn’t happen often.”
“They’re a great couple,” he nodded. “Chris and I go way back to college. He’s always had a good heart.”
From there, conversation flowed easily. We both loved true crime podcasts and quirky documentaries. He told funny stories about his job as a marketing manager. At one point, I actually thought: This might be the best first date I’ve ever had.
When the check came, I instinctively reached for my purse.
“Absolutely not,” Eric said firmly, sliding his card into the holder. “A man pays on the first date.”
His tone surprised me. It was polite, but had this strange, unbreakable finality—like he was quoting from the Dating Rulebook of 1952.
I blinked but shrugged. “Okay, if you insist. Thanks.”
After dinner, we walked out together. He asked if he could call me again.
“I’d like that,” I smiled.
He hugged me goodbye. It was the perfect mix of sweet and respectful. Driving home, I had a grin on my face. This was easily one of the most amazing first dates I’d ever been on.
The next morning, I woke up to a notification. It was a message from Eric.
Still half-asleep, I expected something cute. Instead, there was… an attachment?
I made coffee, curled back in bed, and opened it.
It was… an invoice.
A full, professionally formatted document.
At the top, in bold font:
Date Night Invoice – Amount Due: 1 Outstanding Balance
I blinked hard, assuming it was a joke.
Then I read the breakdown.
- Bouquet of Roses: 1 hug
- Custom Keychain: 1 coffee date (scheduled within one week)
- Opening Car Door: A cute selfie together
- Pulling Out Chair: Holding hands on the next date
- Engaging Conversation: A compliment about my looks
- Dinner + Tip: A second date, no excuses
And then, at the bottom, in all caps:
PAYMENT IS EXPECTED IN FULL. NO REFUNDS. FAILURE TO COMPLY MAY RESULT IN AN OUTSTANDING BALANCE BEING SENT TO COLLECTIONS (Chris will hear about it).
Looking forward to your prompt payment!
I nearly spat out my coffee.
It would’ve been one thing if he was joking about splitting the bill. But he was charging me in affection.
I took a screenshot and sent it to Mia.
Her reply came in seconds.
“OH. MY. GOD. I’M SHOWING THIS TO CHRIS RIGHT NOW.”
“Is this real life???” I typed back, stunned. “He’s serious!”
Five minutes later, my phone rang.
It was Chris. He was howling with laughter.
“Kelly,” he gasped. “I’ve known this dude for years and NEVER thought he’d do something this ridiculous.”
“So, it’s not a joke?” I asked.
“Nope,” Chris said. “He’s always been intense about dating, but this? This is next-level crazy. Okay, we need to get back at this guy.”
Chris wasn’t just mad—he was inspired. Within the hour, he sent me his creation.
An identical invoice.
Service Invoice – Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence
- Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block on all platforms
- Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman: A deep reflection on why you’re single
- Letting You Sit at the Same Table: A formal apology to all your past dates
- Not Exposing You to the Internet: A generous gift you should be grateful for
Payment due IMMEDIATELY. Failure to comply may result in PUBLIC HUMILIATION.
“OMG this is PERFECT,” I texted Chris. “Send it!”
“Done,” he replied.
Then the angry texts from Eric started rolling in.
“Wow, really mature.”
“I was just setting expectations. Not everyone’s rich, you know.”
“Chris is a fake friend.”
“You just lost a GREAT guy.”
I didn’t respond. I just sent a 👍 and blocked his number.
Later that night, Mia called, still laughing.
“I swear, I thought he was normal. Chris had no idea.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “Honestly, this turned out better than expected. I got dinner, a free keychain, and a legendary story.”
Mia giggled. “We’re definitely telling this one at every party for the next ten years.”
And from that day forward, I had one solid dating rule:
If a guy insists on paying, make sure he’s not going to send you an invoice after.
And the keychain? I kept it.
Not because it reminded me of Eric… but because it was the funniest souvenir from the weirdest date of my life.