I was completely floored when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule titled “Help Me Become a Better Wife.” Instead of flipping out, I decided to play along, knowing that Jake was about to get a big lesson in what marriage is really about.
In our relationship, I’m usually the calm one, while Jake gets easily swept up in things. Whether it’s a new hobby or a YouTube video promising life-changing tips in three steps, he’s all in. Everything was fine until Jake met Steve.
Steve was the type who thought being loud meant being right. He’d bulldoze anyone who tried to correct him and had a knack for giving unwanted relationship advice, despite being single himself. To my surprise, Jake was drawn to Steve’s overconfidence and started echoing his toxic views.
At first, I didn’t worry too much. But soon, Jake’s comments started to sting. “Steve says marriages work best when the wife takes charge of everything,” or, “Steve thinks women should always look their best for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d try to brush it off with a sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d roll his eyes if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, or sigh if I didn’t get around to the laundry because, well, I have a full-time job.
Then one night, Jake sat me down with “The List.”
With a tone I’d never heard before, he slid a piece of paper across the table. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement,” he said, completely unaware of how much trouble he was stirring up.
I glanced at the paper: “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” It was a detailed schedule that dictated my every move, all based on Steve’s misguided ideas of what a wife should do.
According to this list, I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, hit the gym, clean, do laundry, and cook dinner every night—all before or after working a full-time job. It was sexist, insulting, and absolutely ridiculous. But instead of blowing my top, I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked so relieved, not realizing what was coming next.
The next morning, I sat down at my laptop and created my own list: “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” I copied everything from his schedule but made a few tweaks. A personal trainer to stay in shape? That’ll cost $1,200. Want me to cook like a professional chef? Our grocery bill just jumped to $700 a month, and Jake might need to take a cooking class, too.
Then came the big one. If I was going to be the “perfect wife,” I’d need to quit my job. So, I added my annual salary to the list: “$75,000 to replace Lisa’s income since she’ll now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
I could barely contain my laughter as I imagined Jake’s reaction. The final touch? A $50,000 expense to build him a separate “man cave” so his friends wouldn’t interrupt my new, perfectly structured life.
That evening, Jake came home in a great mood—until he saw the list.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking puzzled.
“Oh, just a little guide I made for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
As he scanned the first few lines, his grin faded. The numbers, the demands, the sheer absurdity of it all hit him hard. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? And… wait, you’re quitting your job?”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? You wanted structure, right?”
The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. His smugness vanished, replaced by a look of panic. “I… I didn’t mean for it to be like this. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see how ridiculous it is.”
I nodded. “Exactly. Marriage isn’t about one person being ‘better’ than the other. It’s about mutual respect. If you ever try to ‘improve’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Jake’s expression softened, and he sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I got carried away. You’re right—Steve’s advice was toxic.”
We tore up both lists together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were on the same team again. This whole experience reminded us that a strong marriage isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growing together and respecting each other.