In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang. He thought it was just another telemarketer calling to sell him something. But this time, when he answered, it was his daughter’s school.
Anytime a parent gets a call from the school, it’s natural to worry. Was Demetra okay? Had something happened?
But what the school had to say completely surprised him.
That morning, Tony had dropped off his 13-year-old daughter, Demetra, at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School in Los Gatos, California. It was a scorching 90-degree day, and Demetra had worn a blue romper to stay cool. Neither of them thought it was a big deal.
But apparently, the school did. A teacher decided Demetra’s outfit was “too distracting” for boys.
When the teacher told Demetra her romper was too short, Tony quickly returned to the school with different clothes—jean shorts and a tank top. But when he handed them over, the school’s administration said those clothes were inappropriate too.
Tony couldn’t believe it. “I asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes, right in front of the administrator,” Tony explained to TODAY. “And I said, ‘Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing wrong here. What’s the problem with this dress code?’”
Father fights California middle school's dress code for teen daughter https://t.co/qoTOVO7fJ6 pic.twitter.com/V1tUrOWCTO
— CBS News (@CBSNews) September 16, 2017
The school insisted that Demetra’s clothes were still “distracting.” With the temperature so high, Tony was forced to go back to his car and grab a pair of leggings for his daughter.
Understandably, Demetra was humiliated.
“You get pulled out of class in front of everyone… She’s just a kid. She’s 13 years old. She’s not a sex symbol. She just wants to be comfortable and go to school, but she’s not being allowed to,” Tony said.
This wasn’t the first time Demetra had been called out for her clothes. Just a week earlier, she’d been dress-coded for showing a bra strap.
“When I got dress coded last week, they said my bra strap was showing,” Demetra told the San Jose Mercury News. “I mean, heaven forbid I wear a bra.”
Tony, who was a successful investment advisor and a dad of two, wasn’t about to let this go. He felt the school’s dress code unfairly targeted girls. Determined to do something about it, he took to social media to express his frustration. Soon, parents from all over began to rally behind him, saying the school’s rules were outdated and unfair to girls.
“Demetra isn’t the only one. Just sit in Fisher’s parking lot for a while, and you’ll see that,” Tony said. “I’ve talked to so many girls who just want to be comfortable, but they feel like they’re being forced to wear leggings in 100-degree weather.”
Tony believed that parents—not schools—should decide what their children wear. He also worried about how being told their clothes are a “distraction” might affect young girls’ confidence.
As the story gained attention, major news outlets picked it up. While the school wouldn’t talk on camera, they did release a statement:
“The Los Gatos Union School District believes that appropriate dress and grooming contribute to a productive learning environment,” Abbati said in a statement to TODAY. “Students are expected to wear clothes that reflect the core values of our community.”
Tony’s stand paid off. The Los Gatos Union School District decided to review its dress code, making changes to ensure it would be fairer and less strict for all students.
Lisa Fraser, the school’s principal, explained that the school’s “Fashion Faux Pas” rules apply to both boys and girls. Among the banned items were hats or hoods indoors, visible underwear, inappropriate logos or words, and shorts with inseams shorter than 4 inches.
“We’ve always had a dress code,” Fraser told the newspaper. “These rules are for reasonable decorum. I do set the guidelines for the school, but I want to stay in tune with the community and reflect its values.”
In the end, Tony Alarcon’s persistence sparked a much-needed conversation about how school dress codes affect girls. He proved that one determined parent could make a difference.
What do you think about the school’s dress code? Have you or your children experienced something similar? Feel free to share your story in the comments!
