Success in today’s world often means fitting in and blending with the crowd. Being “different” or “unique” is sometimes seen as strange or unusual, and people might judge you harshly for it. This focus on appearances and peer pressure can be quite overwhelming.
Ask Jono Lancaster, a person just like us, who has experienced firsthand how cruel the world can be.
Jono Lancaster was born in England in October 1985, but he didn’t look like the other newborns in the hospital. He had a rare condition called Treacher Collins syndrome, which caused his facial bones to develop asymmetrically.
The doctors told Jono’s parents that he might never walk or talk. Shocked by this news, his parents decided it was too much for them and left him.
“My parents were really taken aback when I was born,” Jono recalled. “Within 36 hours of my birth, I was discharged from the hospital. Social services assigned someone to look after me. At the 2015 Nord Conference, I remembered the foster carer as a woman named Jean.”
Less than two days old, Jono’s parents vanished, leaving him for adoption. After the hospital contacted Social Services, a wonderful woman named Jean Lancaster adopted and raised him.
When Jean saw Jono, she wasn’t alarmed or surprised. She bonded with him right away. “When can I take him home?” she asked the nurse.
From the start, Jean gave Jono all the love and attention he needed. He couldn’t have asked for a better or more loving mother.
However, despite his mother’s unwavering support, Jono’s early years were filled with misunderstandings from the outside world.
When Jono started school, he began to realize who he was. It didn’t take long for him to see that he didn’t look like his classmates.
“I felt like I was the only one in the world like me and that I was on my own,” he said in an Adelaide Now interview. “Even though some people win the lottery or become doctors, lawyers, or professional football players, I always wondered, ‘Why did I have to end up looking like this?’”
It’s important to know that Treacher Collins syndrome doesn’t affect a child’s intelligence. But Jono’s classmates only cared about his appearance. When he approached them, they would make faces and run away, saying they didn’t want to catch his “disease.”
“I used to keep my mom from knowing how unhappy I was,” he told the BBC. “She had already done so much for me.”
But Jono had an amazing woman by his side and refused to let the haters win.
Jean, Jono’s foster mother, tried to reconnect him with his birth parents. After they ignored her letters for five years, she made the next move on May 18, 1990, and officially adopted Jono.
“I have two birthdays!” Jono said at the 2015 Nord Conference. “I used to tell other kids that my mom went to the hospital, looked at all the babies, and chose me, while their parents were stuck with them.”
In a heartfelt 2015 Facebook post, Jono expressed his gratitude for his foster mother. “This woman has the largest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Despite her small stature, she spent thirty years caring for foster children.
She felt she had let them down when they left for new homes and cried each time. This woman, a 40-year-old single mother, accepted me without knowing what was ahead. She gave me an incredible family. Jean is her name; she is my mother and idol.”
As a teenager, Jono became rebellious. He often did things just to get attention, hoping to divert it away from his physical appearance. He tried to win people over with sweets and copious amounts of wine. “I felt like I was by myself,” he said.
However, thanks to Jean’s love and his own strong spirit, Jono decided to use his experience to help others.
Now 36 years old, Jono dedicates his life to supporting others with Treacher Collins syndrome worldwide. He leads teams of adults with autism and meets kids, offering them encouragement and hope. He also talks to their parents about their situation. Currently, Jono works as a motivational speaker and frequently discusses Treacher Collins syndrome.
“My parents still don’t want anything to do with me,” he said. “My mentality has changed, and that’s what makes it so effective. […] I wouldn’t change a thing. More than anything, my attitude was debilitating. You can accomplish anything if you have the right mindset.”
One of Jono’s mentees is two-year-old Zackary Walton from Australia. Despite his young age, Zackary has experienced bullying. But he has a lifelong friend in Jono.
“When he said he was coming to Australia, we knew we had to meet him,” Zackary’s mother, Sarah Walton, told Adelaide Now. “It’s made us so happy to see Zack meet someone like him.”
When Jono and Zackary first met in November 2014, a beautiful photo was shared on Facebook.
In 2015, Jono met Laura Richardson while working as a fitness instructor. They fell in love, and Laura accepted Jono for who he was. Together, they aimed to spread happiness and positivity.
Before meeting Laura, Jono always thought that if he ever wanted to have children, he would adopt them. “Being a father has always been my dream,” he told the BBC in 2011. “I long for moments with my child. Although my adoptive mother was wonderful, I missed having a father figure.”
Any child Jono fathers has a fifty percent chance of having Treacher Collins. So, the thought of having a biological child brought up many emotions, ethical dilemmas, and reflections. While Jono had a relatively normal birth, many children with Treacher Collins have serious health issues, and some are born unable to breathe.
So, Jono thought maybe adoption was the best choice. “It worked out well for me, and I think it’s great to give a child another chance,” he said. “But Laura feels a strong desire to have her own child. She worries about the child wanting to find their biological parents or not being able to care for someone else’s child.”
Laura also wanted their child to be “our” child. And I really want to take care of her during pregnancy,” Jono added.
Sadly, Jono and Laura never started a family. After ten years together, they decided to part ways and move on. Jono explained on Instagram, “After ten incredible years together, Laura and I decided to part ways because we weren’t growing as a couple. There was only mutual respect, and it had nothing to do with looks.”
Some of his supporters expressed empathy and tried to see the bright side, reassuring Jono that a broken relationship could still have a happy ending. “Breakups can never be made to sound good. It was devastating,” Jono retorted.
Watch the video below to hear Jono recount his experience. I assure you, it won’t pass you by:
Despite the tragic nature of Jono’s experience, it is also immensely inspirational to witness his bravery and fortitude as he uses them to support other kids in similar circumstances.
I sincerely hope we can help raise awareness of Jono’s story. Not only to motivate others, but also to instill confidence and hope in those who need it. Everyone needs a little motivation from time to time.
No one should ever face discrimination, bullying, or judgment because of their appearance! If you agree, please share this article!
